It’s one of the few things you carry throughout your life that you don’t actually choose. I’m talking about a name, of course — although that may come as a surprise to Lady Gaga and other celebrities who are often better known by their stage names than their given ones.

It might certainly come as a surprise to the former Meghan Markle, whose actual name is Rachel Meghan Markle but who calls herself Meghan. There are two schools of thought about people who rename themselves: They are wildly independent. They are wildly insecure. I myself don’t care for my first or middle names, but I was named for my grandmothers, whose memories I care greatly about honoring. So I wear their names with pride. And when time came for my Confirmation, I chose another name that I liked better and have since added a fourth that is my favorite. You can understand why the Department of Motor Vehicles has a problem with me.

But back to Meghan, Duchess of Sussex — yet another name. She and her husband, Prince Harry, have chosen to name their newborn daughter after his grandmother and mother, Queen Elizabeth II and the late Diana, Princess of Wales. Fair enough. Lots of girls, especially first-born daughters, are named as I was after grandmothers or great-grandmothers. It was, however, how they chose to honor Prince Harry’s grandmother that has become the sticking point. Instead of naming their daughter Elizabeth Diana, they named her Lillbet Diana, after the queen’s childhood nickname.

As the story goes, the nickname was based on her own mispronunciation of her name when she was very young. It was then championed by her grandparents, King George V and Queen Mary,; her parents, King George VI and Queen Elizabeth, known as Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother; her sister, Princess Margaret; and her husband, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Perhaps some of her contemporary cousins use it as well. Perhaps not. Needless to say, the principle people who called the queen “Lilibet” are, sadly, all gone.

So the question becomes why would you name your child after someone’s intimate nickname that has nothing to do with you?

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