Alex Smith, Colin Kaepernick and ‘the good wife’

October 4, 2014

So the San Francisco 49ers face-off against the Kansas City Chiefs Sunday, Oct. 5 for the first time in the regular season since the Niners traded quarterback Alex Smith to the Chiefs, signaling that Colin Kaepernick would be their guy.

The Niners seem destined for an embarrassment-of-quarterback-riches drama. This is the team that traded Joe Montana – possibly the greatest quarterback to date – to the Chiefs no less, because they had Steve Young.

When Alex Smith suffered a concussion back in 2012 and Kaepernick took over for him, leading the Niners to the Super Bowl, well, it was a bit like that moment in “42nd Street” when the star breaks her ankle, the ingénue goes on and the rest is theatrical history.

Even though Kaepernick has better statistics than Smith – and from a pure performance standpoint is a helluva lot more thrilling to watch, because he’s a running quarterback – the Smith-Niners reunion has led to the inevitable “Did the 49ers Make the Right Choice?” column.

Here’s the thing...

Colin’s eyes, Russell’s, uh, thing and the NFL’s continuing female trouble

September 13, 2014

As we move from Ray Rice (former Raven) to Condoleezza Rice (future NFL commish?), I thought we’d lighten up with Colin Kaepernick – 49ers quarterback, model, sex symbol.

Colin’s on the cover of the new V Man magazine, photographed by Bruce Weber, whose gift for capturing men and homoeroticism is unquestioned. How life and art parallel one another: In my forthcoming novel, “In This Place You Hold Me” – the second book in my series, “The Games Men Play” – New York Templars quarterback Quinn Novak poses for a series of erotic photos by fashion/art photog Elliott Gardener, whom we meet in Alí’s story arc in my first book, “Water Music.” Apparently, you really can’t make this stuff up.

Anyway, back to Colin. ...

Was Jonathan Martin the strongest Dolphin?

February 27, 2014

So Jonathan Martin – the Miami Dolphin who was so tormented by teammates that he’s checked himself into a psychiatric facility – doesn’t want to return to the Dolphins. Gee, what a surprise.

This as we’re learning more about the teammates who abetted Richie Incognito in harassing him – John Jerry and Mike Pouncey. Apparently, Incognito, who’s been suspended, has tried to make nice with Martin while telling Pouncey that Martin is a snitch. It would all be so very high school if the abuse weren’t so striking and the reactions so distressing. Many posters on ESPN have called Martin a pussy, suggesting that his emotional fragility may make him a liability for any team. (The misogyny is palpable.) Apparently, an unwillingness to take any more racist and homophobic slurs, sexual remarks about your mother and sister or unwanted simulated sex acts makes you a wuss.

What’s wrong with these people? To hear some fans tell it, nothing.