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The ‘I’ in all things

April 15, 2015

San Francisco 49ers’ wide receiver Anquan Boldin stirred the drink recently when he said embattled Niners’ running quarterback Colin Kaepernick – who trained during the offseason to become more of a classic pocket passer – just needs to be himself.

“…I think he just has to block out everything else around him, stop listening to what people want, what people have to say about you, stop listening to what people want to see you do and just be yourself," Boldin told SiriusXM NFL Radio, via CSN Bay Area, on April 9.

"I think sometimes when you try to go off the suggestions of other people and try to please other people, you forget who you are and what got you there,” Boldin added. “I think if he just goes out and (is) himself, he'll be just fine. And that's the thing I try to tell him. 'Go out and be Kap. Don't try to go out and be anybody else, because that isn't what got you to this point.”

Wise words about identity, a much misunderstood subject that’s a crucial theme in “The Penalty for Holding,” the upcoming second novel in my series “The Games Men Play.” Like Colin, my hero, Quinn Novak, is a quarterback at the crossroads trying to balance pleasing others and remaining true to himself. It isn’t easy in our selfie world, which often spurs a 180-degree reaction. In his April 12th column “The Moral Bucket List,” The New York Times’ David Brooks wrote:

“Commencement speakers are always telling young people to follow their passions. Be true to yourself. This is a vision of life that begins with self and ends with self. But people on the road to inner light do not find their vocations by asking, what do I want from life? They ask, what is life asking of me? How can I match my intrinsic talent with one of the world’s deep needs?” ...

To ‘Sir,’ with love

April 12, 2015

A big shout-out to opera star Renée Fleming, a woman after my heart.

In The New York Times’ T magazine column “Take Two,” which juxtaposes comments from unlikely duos on unusual products, she has this to say about “Sir” (Taschen, 700 smackeroos), photographer Mario Testino’s ode to men:

“I had a lot of fun looking at this. It has more six-packs than a 7-Eleven. I like that men are now being scrutinized in the way that women have been for so long.”

Her mighty opposite here – Arnold Schwarzenegger, who knows a thing or two about sculpted male bodies – added: “What I discovered in here was an extraordinary celebration of men. It’s the ideal Christmas present. If I’d spend $700 on a pair of shoes, why not on a book?”

Why indeed? Certainly, Mr. Darcy himself, Colin Firth – one of the subjects, along with George Clooney, Jude Law, Mick Jagger, Keith Richard and others – would alone be worth the price of the book. ...

Earning her stripes in the NFL

April 6, 2015

Kudos to Sarah Thomas, the first woman scheduled to become a full-time referee in the NFL. (Shannon Eastin worked as a replacement official in 2012 during the referee lockout.)

Thomas – a pharmaceutical executive and mother of three – has worked preseason games and the New Orleans Saints’ spring minicamp. Like most pioneers, she doesn’t see herself as one.

"I've always said as far as breaking the gender barrier, you never set out to do that,” she was quoted as saying in USA Today.

Does the hire smack of tokenism? Of course, it does. The NFL has a terrible rep where women are concerned so it floods the field with pink during October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And now it’s added a female official. Regardless of its motives, however, the league is still raising awareness.

And so will Thomas, who’ll have to earn those stripes she’ll wear. ...

The ‘Pretty Woman’ theory of customer relations

April 1, 2015

The hullabaloo over the new crop of RFRAs (Religious Freedom Reformation Acts) raises an interesting question about what we owe ourselves and others in the workplace, a subject that figures prominently in “The Penalty for Holding,” the upcoming second novel in my series “The Games Men Play.”

Granted, the workplace there is the NFL, a far more specialized and glamorous environment than most of us will ever know. But whether you work at the local Starbucks or for an NFL team, the questions ignited by the RFRA debate in Indiana and Arkansas remain the same: To what extent may I impose my personal beliefs on others? To what extent may I find offense in theirs?

The answers are actually simpler than you would think if you keep one thing in mind: A business or a corporation is a public entity, emphasis on the word “public.” If someone plunks down a Ulysses S. Grant on the counter of my bake shop, I owe that person $50 worth of baked goods. Period.

Of course, I should present the baked goods with a smile and a good attitude. I might even offer more in the way of sample cookies on the counter. But I must in any event give value for value, regardless of what I perceived the person to be.

Otherwise, we would spend our days in knots about each person we encounter. Chances are very few people are going to share the same values you hold. ...

Russell Wilson ‘Passes the peace’

March 29, 2015

It’s been a quiet offseason thus far for the NFL – particularly given the fireworks of the regular season and playoffs (everything from Ray Rice to Deflategate).

But quiet isn’t necessarily a good thing. The NFL still has to decide what to do with Minnesota Viking Adrian Peterson, who pleaded no contest to taking a switch to his 4-year-old; and Carolina Panther Greg Hardy, who had his conviction for domestic abuse overturned; not to mention Deflategate.

Let me make a bold prediction: Peterson and Hardy will be back, and Deflategate will be swept under the rug, because basically the NFL prefers what Simon and Garfunkel would call “the sound of silence.”

One person who is not remaining silent is Seattle Seahawks’ quarterback Russell Wilson. On The Players’ Tribune site started by Derek Jeter, Wilson, who describes himself as “a recovering bully” despite his “Goody Two Shoes” image, wants to talk about domestic violence and then do something about it. ...

In sports, R-E-S-P-E-C-T is limited

March 10, 2015

An unsettling, if not upsetting, sports days with trade rumors swirling about the San Francisco 49ers sending quarterback Colin Kaepernick to the Philadelphia Eagles or the Chicago Bears or the Martians. General Manager Trent Baalke was quick to deny it, so you know it must have some validity.

More about this in a minute but first, What would The New York Times do without Roger Federer? Last year, The Times couldn’t bother writing about World Tennis Day at Madison Square Garden, which was too bad, because Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray put on quite a show. This year, however, Feddy Bear and Grigor “Baby Fed” Dimitrov are slated to square off March 10, and I predicted there would be a huge article in The Times to advance it. Christopher Clarey didn’t disappoint with the kind of piece that could’ve been written by Mirka, Feddy’s wife. The article was long on how the Feds travel the world with two sets of twins and – surprise, surprise – several nannies. But not even the cleverest of journalists can turn a subject into something he is not. One of the great pleasures of any Fed article is his blithe unawareness of his own self-centeredness. (Though it would seem counterintuitive, self-centered people never understand how others see them, or they wouldn’t be self-centered. It’s what makes pseudofedblog.com so funny.)

Anyway, here’s Fed on traveling the world en famille:

“The girls enjoy it, and I love being with my family, and so does Mirka. She loves being with me….”

I’m sure she does. ...

Tom Brady, the Roger Federer of football (in more ways than one)

March 2, 2015

It’s football’s off-season. Let the games begin.

First, it was something called “Aaron Rodgers Week” on the NFL Network. (Is that like “Rita Hayworth Week” on Movies.com?). So this engendered an article on whether Tom Brady or Andrew Luck is a better quarterback than Rodgers.

Really, I’m no fan of Brady, but you have to give it to him for leading the New England Patriots to four Super Bowl titles. He’s the greatest quarterback in the game today, just as Roger Federer’s 17 Grand Slam titles make him the greatest tennis player today. Yes, there are other measures of an athlete, and anyone can beat the best on any given day. But it’s hard to argue with the Super Bowl and the Slams as the measures of the players in football and tennis respectively. ...