Leaning in – and falling over

May 17, 2014

So what do we think? Is Shelly Sterling in cahoots with disgraced hubby Donald to retain ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers by divorcing him and secretly allowing him to run the team?

Or is she a woman who recognizes her moment and, sensing his vulnerability, has decided to divorce him and make a power play for control of the team?

“I think the latter,” a male friend said the other night over dinner.

OK, so Shelly Sterling is seeking to become the principal owner – the team is actually owned by a family trust – at the moment when two women have lost prominent journalism positions. Jill Abramson was dismissed as the first female executive editor of The New York Times May 14 while Natalie Nougayrède, the first female editor of France’s Le Monde, announced she was stepping down from her post. And while Abramson apparently confronted her bosses about making less in salary and benefits than previous executive editor Bill Keller, the bottom line in both cases is that she and Nougayrède were considered controlling bosses who had lost the confidence of their employees.

But were they really controlling bosses, or were they perceived to be controlling bosses, because we expect women to be the “nice” sex?

Are women who write about gay sex ‘fag hags’?

April 14, 2014

At the end of Sassy Ladies Shopping Night Out last Friday at the DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel in Tarrytown, a vendor approached the table where I was selling my new novel, “Water Music.” She had been by earlier, but our conversation had been cut short by the appearance of customers at her table. Now true to her word, she came back as I was packing up and bought a copy.

She had told me that her son was gay, coming out to her when he was 14, and I could sense all the pain of that reality, not because she rejected him but because no mother likes to see her child rejected by others. She couldn’t quite understand why I – with no such similar narrative – would’ve, could’ve written a novel like "Water Music," whose four gay athletes whose professional rivalries color their personal relationships with one another. I told her that being a man didn’t stop Tolstoy from writing “Anna Karenina.”

“Yes, but at least he knew what it was like to make love to a woman.”

True, but he didn’t know what a woman feels like when she makes love to a man.

Are warrior women winning the battle only to lose the war?

March 26, 2014

Call it “The Hunger Games” 2.0.

This past weekend, “Divergent” opened with a respectable $55 million at the box office. It’s hardly “Twilight” money, but it’s a satisfying spring debut for a franchise hopeful that’s following in the wake of “The Hunger Games,” which is also about a feisty young woman leading a rebellion in a post apocalyptic society. (I plan on seeing “Divergent” this weekend though I’m in it mostly for Brando-esque co-star Theo James – he of the sculpted cheekbones and the sullen, sultry way with a self-contained character, Mr. Pamuk in “Downton Abbey” and the title character in CBS’ short-lived “Golden Boy.”)

The success of “The Hunger Games,” which cemented humorous everywoman Jennifer Lawrence as a star, has led toy companies to develop a whole line of weaponry – guns and bows and arrows in pink, no less – for girls who want to emulate Lawrence’s Katniss or Shailene Woodley’s Tris in “Divergent.” I have no problem with this or with stories featuring gutsy, independent-minded young women, having once been a gutsy, independent-minded young woman myself...

The sex trap

March 13, 2014

One of the great illusions that some feminists and more than a few sentimental men hold is that women offer a different leadership model than men – that they’re more collaborative and compassionate, building consensus rather than creating chaos.

I’m here to say, You think that if it makes you happy. In a 33-year career, I’ve worked for men and women, and I have to say I prefer working for men.

For one thing, they don’t take everything personally. For another, they have the advantage of millennia of leadership DNA. Women are relatively new to the leadership game, and they often ape men instead of developing their own styles. They think they have to be tough when they really should be strong and so they wind up merely being shrill.

But women have also had the disadvantage of their sex, which they in turn tend to use.

In “Frozen,” Elsa embraces her magical powers as she sings “Let It Go.”

Are men the hotter sex? Or are women just ‘Frozen’?

March 9, 2014

It’s been a week since the Oscars, but Cate Blanchett’s Best Actress acceptance speech is still trending with me. Or rather, Maureen Dowd’s riff on it is.

Blanchett implied that her Oscar win for “Blue Jasmine” proved that films with women at the center aren’t “niche experiences.” Dowd’s March 5 column “Frozen in a Niche?” demonstrated otherwise:

“The percentage of women directing, writing, producing, editing and shooting films has declined since 1998, according to an analysis of the top 250 grossing films of 2013 by the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State University. (The anticipated halo effect from Kathryn Bigelow becoming the first woman to win a directing Oscar for 2009’s “The Hurt Locker” never happened.)

“The center’s latest report had some stunning stats: Women accounted for 6 percent of directors, 10 percent of writers, 15 percent of executive producers, 17 percent of editors and 3 percent of cinematographers. And women are still more likely to be working on romantic comedies, dramas or documentaries than the top-grossing, teenage-boy-luring animated, sci-fi and horror movies.”

Sound like a niche to me. Mais pourquoi?