The explosiveness of touch

February 11, 2015

“What an altered world we live in,” Frank Bruni wrote in his Sunday New York Times’ column.

“What an advanced one. The man I love and I can be married in New York or 35 other states if we ever get organized enough, if we decide that we want public vows and a gaudy cake — I’m thinking devil’s food, for a host of reasons — to seal our commitment.

“I’m grateful for that. I’m stunned, really.

“And yet. When we’re walking down the street after a long dinner or a sad movie and he slips his hand in mine, I tense."

Funny he should mention that. In my upcoming novel “The Penalty for Holding,” New York Templars’ quarterback Quinn Novak and his lover, San Francisco Miners’ quarterback Tam Tarquin, sometimes touch accidentally in public. It always sends an erotic jolt through Quinn, and yet, to Quinn’s relief and dismay, they always pull quickly away. ...

Of goddesses and their boy toys

February 9, 2015

Barneys has never shied away from provocation in its window displays or catalog, and its latest campaign – featuring supermodels of a certain vintage shot by Bruce Weber – is no exception.

The models, fully clothed in fashions by the likes of Céline and Balenciaga, pose with younger men who for the most part are not. In one, Christie Brinkley, clad in short, lacy Lanvin, pauses from applying her lipstick to succumb to the ecstasy of a tousle-haired hunk wrapped in a white bed sheet. In another, Stephanie Seymour Brant, in short, sheer Balenciaga, looks boldly at the camera as three nude men worship her with makeup mirrors.

Coupled with the appearance of plus-size model Ashley Graham in the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, it would seem as if society were finally ready to acknowledge the sexuality of women, many of whom are neither young nor thin.

So, as I said, it would seem. Seeming, however, doesn’t make it so. The models may be middle-aged but they are still gorgeous women. And the posts about Graham, who appears only in an ad in Sports Illustrated not an actual spread, range from saying she’s too fat to remarking that she’s too thin for plus-size work. (Graham’s a size 16.) ...

Pete Carroll, Brian Williams and why smart people do dumb things

February 8, 2015

Well, last week was an extraordinary one for stupid career moves, wasn’t it?

It began with the Seattle Seahawks snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. All quarterback Russell Wilson had to do was hand the ball to running back Marshawn “I’m here so I don’t get fined” Lynch, kick him in the butt, pushing him into the end zone, and yell, “Oops, touchdown!” But no, no, that wasn’t good enough for Coach Pete Carroll and company. Hey, Niners’ fan here: I’m delighted the Hawks lost. The only thing that would’ve made me happier was if the New England Patriots had lost as well. Still, I’m a greater fan of intelligence, and if you’re one of those, it was a depressing moment.

More disappointment, however, was to come at the end of the week with the discovery for many of us that NBC anchor Brian Williams had aggrandized the danger he faced when reporting on the Iraq War. Yeah, ’cause there’s no video trail for that, right? ...

The Big Four’s ‘special relationship’

February 6, 2015

The big news out of the Aussie Open is that the Big Four is back.

Andy Murray’s magnificent run – until he collapsed against Novak Djokovic in the final – has returned him to the No. 4 spot behind Nole (No. 1), Roger Federer (No. 2) and Rafael Nadal (No. 3).

Andy’s return has got some fans comparing the Big Four to the Fab Four. (Andy, they say, would be Ringo.) I guess that would make Fed, John; Rafa, Paul; and Nole, George.

As with the Fab Four, there’s been some tension within the Big Four. Nole has said that he’s going to reach out to Andy, who was reportedly upset at possible Nole gamesmanship in the Australian Open final. Nole has denied faking an injury in their final, a taut affair early on.

“If there is a chance, if he’s willing to talk, I’ll talk, no problem,” Nole told Eurosport.com. “I have nothing to hide. I’m not the sort of guy who is pretending, who is trying to do something behind anyone’s back or is saying bad things about anybody, especially about someone I have known for a long time. I have respect for him.”

Perhaps the opportunity will come Feb. 15-28 at the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships. (Gee, how can we tell Dubai is the shopping capital of the world?) There Nole and Andy will be reunited with Fed, but no Rafa.

Though they’re all rivals now, Nole says, “I do look at (Andy), Rafa and Roger as my friends, honestly, because I see them so much, more than my parents and sometimes more than my wife. ...

The Seahawks’ karmic comeuppance

February 2, 2015

Wow, karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?

The Seattle Seahawks – whose vaunted defense has been the graveyard of rival quarterbacks – lost Super Bowl XLIX 28-24 when their own preternaturally poised quarterback, Russell Wilson, was intercepted, at the one-yard line no less.

As was pointed out a zillion times by the experts, the Hawks could’ve handed off the ball to Marshawn Lynch (the guy who won’t talk to the press and grabs his crouch after scoring a touchdown). Indeed, they seemed on the brink of back-to-back SB titles after experiencing a sort of miraculous catch of David Tyree proportions. ...

Of weak thighs (and nerves) at the Aussie Open

February 1, 2015

First the final. And then the fallout, right? Andy Murray – who went down to Novak Djokovic but returns to the No. 4 ranking with his appearance in the final – suggested that he was rattled by Nole’s physical crisis during the match. Nole, for his part, said it was not gamesmanship but an actual weakness in his thighs. (Weak thighs: Is there anything in sports that can’t be turned into a sexual innuendo?)

So which was it – a momentary weakness transcended or another game that men play?

A little bit of both, I think. Tennis is the most solitary of games. There’s no teammate – unless you’re playing doubles – who’ll come over to say, “We’ll get ’em in the second half.” It’s all on you. And that can be crushing not only physically but mentally, which in turn can influence the physical. I don’t doubt Nole had a momentary physical crisis. But who knows what role a fertile mind played in that? And if that happens to give him some breathing room….

Nole wins but Andy was dandy (sort of)

February 1, 2015

Well, my uncle woke me this morning with some great news from Down Under: Novak Djokovic has become the only man in the Open Era to win the Australian Open five times. But I think the big news, too, is that Andy Murray’s back.

He played a fantastic tournament up until the final in which he reverted to some classic Andyisms, including getting angry with himself for not capitalizing on his moments. All that means is that he has to play himself as well as his opponent.

He was gracious in defeat, however, and Nole was equally gracious in victory, wishing Andy and fiancée Kim Sears a happy wedding this year and many children. ...