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The NFL’s new conduct policy: You’ll need a scorecard

   Deadspin to Roger Goodell: We knew Bobby Kennedy. Bobby Kennedy was a friend of ours. You’re no Bobby Kennedy.

Deadspin to Roger Goodell: We knew Bobby Kennedy. Bobby Kennedy was a friend of ours. You’re no Bobby Kennedy.

The NFL has announced its new conduct policy, and frankly, I’d rather study nuclear physics or the tax code.

The penalties will be tougher for violations, of course, including domestic violence. But they won’t be implemented by commish Roger Goodell, even though the NFL will rely more on policing itself. No, there will be a special counsel to implement the conduct code, which goes into effect immediately even though the special counsel has yet to be appointed. 

And there’s a new conduct committee as well, made up of owners, among others. I guess the committee will help implement the policy, which the players’ union didn’t see before the announcement. The union was a little miffed about that, as unions are wont to be.

Does anyone else’s head ache? What a load of hooey: The NFL is taking on more policing of its own organization, which it should’ve done in the first place, but Goodell – who is in effect the NFL’s CEO, as in chief executive officer, as in the person who chiefly executes – can’t implement the policy. You need three more layers of bureaucracy. Geez Louise, this makes Adam Silver, the NBA commissioner who immediately canned the bigoted misanthrope Donald Sterling, look like Eliot Ness.

Really, the NFL is doomed. The behind-the-scenes maneuvering – given an apparently gee-golly-whiz Tiger Beat treatment in Goodell’s sit-down with The Wall Street Journal – prompted Deadspin’s Tom Ley to write a piece called “Good God, Roger Goodell Is So Stupid.” 

Amen, brother.  Amen.