As the Easter egg rolls: A bromantic breakup

Easter eggs are not all that have been breaking lately. Hearts have been broken, too, as the bromance of the century ends.

Donald J. Trumpet and Vladdie “Rootin’ Tootin’” Putin called it quits after a relationship that lasted less time than that of Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn but certainly longer than Britney Spears’ first marriage.

“There is a low level of trust between our countries,” Secretary of State “Sexy Rexy” Tillerson, the John Forsythe of our 1980s nighttime soap opera, noted somberly after meeting with the Russians.

Trump was characteristically more blunt.

"Frankly, Putin is backing a person that's truly an evil person,” he said of Syrian President Bashar al Assad on Fox Business Network. “If Russia didn't go in and back this animal, you wouldn't have a problem right now." 

There’s the serve. And now the volley.

"Where is the proof that Syrian troops used chemical weapons?” Putin countered on Mir television. “There isn't any.

"But there was a violation of international law,” he added of the U.S. air strike “That is an obvious fact."

Clearly, there will be no late-night cuddling, as one poster put it.

Trumpet tried to put on a brave face at the White House’s signature social event Monday, the Easter Egg Roll. (Forget health care and tax reform. The Egg Roll can make or break an administration.) The president was in fine form – telling North Korea to behave, signing a kid’s hat and then tossing it to the crowd, lecturing the Easter Bunny and attendees and thanking his family, including a smiling Tiffany and a waving Barron, for their support.

Melania, in a pale pink hostess gown, read to the children, as did Press Secretary Sean Spicer and Attorney General Jeff Sessions. (“Story time with Jeff Sessions” sounds like the title of a “Saturday Night Live” skit.)

Sesh read the kids a story about a bunny who didn’t want to be a bunny, but, of course, decided in the end that he wanted to be a bunny after all.

“We ought to be happy with who we are,” Sesh said. Of course. Especially if who we are jibes with the status quo.

Secretly, though, Trumpet’s heart must’ve been heavy. It’s been a tumultuous less-than-100 days, what with the failure of the it’s-not-a-Muslim ban and Paul “Paulie Power Point” Ryan’s repeal and replace of Obamacare and so many about-faces.

But are they about-faces on Russia, Syria, China and North Korea, or has reality finally Trumped campaign rhetoric?