The election is still not over – with Senate races in Arizona and Florida and governor’s races in Georgia and, again, the ever-conflicted Florida still too close to call – but the fallout has been swift. No sooner did Nancy “With the Laughing Face” Pelosi take to the mike for a victory speech last Tuesday as Dems no longer in disarray took the House from repudiated Repubs, then Beauregard himself, alias Jeff Sessions, was out as AG. Had to be. The House in Democratic hands means that Adam Schiff is chair of the House Intelligence Committee, formerly chaired by Trumpet champion Devin Nunes, who was so eager to suck up and deliver Russkie-gate info to El Presidente last year that he was found darting about the White House grounds.
On the “PBS NewsHour’s” Election Night coverage, Chris Buskirk, editor and publisher of American Greatness, called Schiff “a political hack,” to which syndicated columnist Mark Shields admirably shot back that Schiff wasn’t a hack, Nunes was the real hack.
Now days later, the reversal of democratic fortunes with a big and small “D” has got Donnie Two Scoops – who is really Donnie One Note, me, me, me, me, me – sweating out the “I” word (impeachment) when the only “I” word Nancy is interested in at the moment is “infrastructure.” That doesn’t mean that there won’t be further – another “I’ word – investigations.
Still, El Presidente’s paranoia knows no bounds, to say nothing of his sore loser attitude. His press conference – in which he kicked losing Repubs while they were down and sparred with the press, criticizing a question about white nationalism by PBS’ measured African-American White House correspondent Yamiche Alcindor as “racist” – was beyond bizarre. It reminded me of the famous exchange between President Richard M. Nixon and CBS’ then White House correspondent Dan Rather at the height of Watergate. On a presidential road trip that made a stop in Houston, native son Rather identified himself before a question as the audience applauded and booed. “Are you running for something?” the president quipped, pleased with himself. There was a beat as Rather absorbed the zinger and the audience’s applause. “No, sir, Mr. President, are you?” he shot back.
When NBC’s Peter Alexander tried to defend CNN’s Jim Acosta after he and Trump went toe-to-toe over whether or not the caravan of undocumented immigrants on the way to the border was an “invasion,” Trumpet opined that he wasn’t crazy about Alexander either, which drew nervous laughter. Trumpet is Nixon light.
No sooner was Sessions gone – and not without a certain bitterness as he made clear he was made to walk the plank – and an attack dog, Matt Whitaker, put in his place, then El Trumpo turned his venomous wrath on others. Those devastating wildfires in Democratic stronghold California? Mismanagement, Trump said. French President Emmanuel Macron’s gracious invitation to take part in the centennial Armistice Day events in Paris this past weekend? Manny’s call for a European Army to defend the continent from others, including America, was “very insulting,” Trump pouted. We can only imagine what he thought of Manny’s stirring defense of globalism, an inevitable rebuke to Trump himself.
But he stepped in deep doo-doo “where poppies grow between the crosses, row on row.” (Apologies, John McCrae.) Trump cancelled a trip to an American military cemetery outside Paris, because it was – get this – raining. Posters immediately assumed it was a hair thing.
Speaking of hair, inquiring minds want to know when those cotton candy-haired cotillion queens are going to give up on Trumpet. Bubble-haired, bubble-brained and bobble-headed, they go on and on about how he tells it like it is, how the libs can’t take it, how he’s protecting Israel – which last time I looked wasn’t part of the U.S. and thus “America First” -- and the border. But he’s a guy who wouldn’t risk getting wet to honor men who 100 years ago fought in the muck amid mustard gas to protect the freedoms he so cavalierly manipulates.
Now 100 elected women are about to be sent into the political trenches in Washington D.C. Buskirk, again, cited a poll last Tuesday that said single women tend to vote Democratic and married women Republican, suggesting that Repubs were more family-minded. (Sure. Go with that.) Or maybe conservative women prefer to let men do the thinking for them. Maybe it’s part of being “protected,” you know the way the guys who shot up the Kroger’s grocery store and the Tree of Life synagogue and sent the pipe bombs to the Democratic leadership “protected” society.
When will these dames grow up? Men are mostly responsible for creating a brilliant civilization they seem hell-bent on destroying. I call that a wash. To these women, I say: You can’t expect a man to protect you. You have to protect yourself.
And to the new women of Congress, I add: Pack some hairspray along with your position papers, ladies.
I hear it comes in handy on rainy days.