When Donnie meets Kimmie, a preview

South Korean official Chung Eui-yong annouces North Korea's acceptance on the White House lawn. Image  here .

South Korean official Chung Eui-yong annouces North Korea's acceptance on the White House lawn. Image here.

As spring approaches, everyone is abuzz at the prospect of a thaw in relations between the “my button is bigger than your button” guys – President Donald J. Trumpet and L’il Kim Jong-un.

It was South Korea that actually announced the rapprochement on the White House lawn Thursday and, if you think that was unusual (having an intermediary make an announcement of a major foreign policy step involving the American people that has thus far included no actual address to the American people), well, you have to remember that nothing is usual with the act unilaterally (he wishes) Trump.

Listen, if Donnie Two Scoops can pull off “The Art of the Deal” with his Rocket Man, they’ll be talking Nobel Peace Prize – which would put Trumpet in the same company as President Theodore Roosevelt and a certain predecessor whom The Donald keeps trashing and yet can’t help trying to emulate in places like Afghanistan and Africa – Barack Obama. (Why does so much of the Trump Administration have the pettiness of high school?)

I wouldn’t go get my knickers in an uproar over this just yet. There are many details to work out, for one thing. For another, this is not our first time at the North Korean rodeo. (An American-North Korean summit was supposed to take place during the Clinton Administration, but nothing came of it.)

Then, too, you want to take your time planning this kind of road trip, because right off the bat it gives Kim a legitimacy he’s never had with Trumpet’s predecessors. So we need assurances in return. Then there is the very real possibility of loss of face if the whole thing implodes, which these two narcissists couldn’t abide. Then what? Back to who has the bigger button?

These two blowhards have more in common than their narcissism. Both are Daddy’s boys still trying to impress their dear, departed daddies. And each, in a sense, needs the other. At first glance, of course, it would appear that the need is all on one side – Kim’s, what with sanctions and all. But Two Scoops needs a win. The beneficial effects of lower taxes (for some) and higher tariffs (for others) have yet to be seen. The vaunted infrastructure program is MIA. And though the stock market has been trending upward, there is definitely more volatility this year.

Add to this the ongoing Russkiegate investigation and the Revolving Door Policy regarding White House staffers. And then we must cherchez la femme. Porn star Stormy Weather Daniels remains a thorn in her former inamorato’s side. It would be easy to make fun of dear Stormy, but you must acknowledge this:  The woman has what one New York Times poster calls cleverage – leverage and cleverness, to say nothing of plenty of cleavage (and one tough, smart lawyer).

Trumpet’s Hatchet Man Michael Cohen is trying to silence Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford. But that may prove a moot point. As Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker observed Friday on the “PBS NewsHour,” Cohen arranged for a $130,000 payoff to Daniels/Clifford via – Are you ready for this? – campaign email. Yes, email. The damned emails again.

For the uninitiated, that’s a big no-no.

“Now this is very, very interesting,” Parker said. “It’s more interesting than it appears, because I think this is tracking a little bit along the lines of what happened with Bill Clinton. (Cohen) is mentioned in the Steele dossier, which has been the basis of much of (the Russia) investigation on both the House (of Representatives) side and the (special prosecutor Robert) Mueller side….

“So it’s very possible that Mueller could call Cohen. And, at some point, as all good prosecutors do, Mueller tries to get everybody on record lying about something. And we could see this leading to President Trump being put in a position that Bill Clinton was. And wouldn’t it be the irony of all things that despite everything that’s happened, this would be, this could be something that really does bring him down?”

Yes, Kathleen, from your lips to God’s ears, as they say, but it would be: Trump brought down in the manner of his nemeses.

How do you say quelle ironie in Korean?