Trump’s ‘he said, he said’ moment

Always in search of a windmill to tilt at, Rudolph Giuliani is now one of President Donald J. Trump’s lawyers. But for how long?

Always in search of a windmill to tilt at, Rudolph Giuliani is now one of President Donald J. Trump’s lawyers. But for how long?

Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Trump did not have sex with that women, Miss Lewinsky, er, Daniels.

Until he did.

But he didn’t pay her. No, sirree, his lawyer Michael Cohen did. But Trump reimbursed him.

Then again, maybe not.

Folks, you might as well go to your local ballpark and buy a scorecard, because you’re going to need it to sort out this one.

In 2006, then private citizen Donald J. Trumpet allegedly had sex with Stephanie Clifford, aka Stormy Daniels. Ten years later, candidate Trumpet paid her $130,000 in hush money through Cohen. The question now is whether or not Cohen’s action violated campaign finance laws. Critics argue that Cohen’s payoff should be viewed as an in-kind campaign contribution that is way over the $2,700 allowed per individual per election. But Trumpet lawyer du moment Rudolph Giuliani – a man who always needs a windmill to tilt at, which he got on 9/11 – says that there was no violation, because Trumpet reimbursed Cohen.

But remember that Donnie Two Scoops has claimed at various times that he didn’t have sex with Daniels and he certainly didn’t have anything to do with paying her $130,000. Indeed, he has corrected Rudy Two Shoes, though none too harshly – him being a newbie on the team and all.

So, the question is, if no one did anything wrong, why is anyone getting a payoff and why are there always so many “evolving facts,” as The New York Times termed them?

Facts don’t evolve. They’re one thing or another. Or, as Mark Twain reportedly said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

The only truth here is that the Trumpettes don’t care. They feel rich and safe under their fearless leader. They don’t care about kids being separated from their parents at the border, the Dreamers, stagnant wages, lack of job growth, the growing deficit, the stock market bouncing around like a knuckleball, what Kim Jong-un’s real game is, the threat of another Mid East war with Iran and the possibility of a trade war with China – to say nothing of our infrastructure going to Hell in a handbasket. All they see is Trumpet Making America Great Again, which means making it great for them – and Kanye West.

The Trumpettes have no interest in you or me, so why should we be interested in them? I doubt that the formidable Robert Mueller and the equally formidable Stormy Daniels are going to bring Trumpet down. The only solution, as I see it, is to get out in vote – in every election, because Donnie Two Scoops is not – unlike President Barack Obama – president of all of America. He’s president of his supporters, eager to pick winners and losers. As are the Republicans – which is why House Speaker Paul “Paulie PowerPoint” Ryan had to can Rev. Patrick J. Conroy, the House of Representatives’ chaplain, after he prayed that the tax cuts would be fair and wouldn’t hurt the poor. Good luck with that, padre. (Paulie had to reinstate the plucky Jesuit after he decided to fight his dismissal. Guess Paulie didn’t know that you have to show cause when you fire someone. But then, it’s not like Paulie has a real job.)

In the end, it little matters what these people say, because they’re a whirlwind of contradiction. We need only watch what they do.