Days of reckoning for Pats, Fedal

January 27, 2015

I’ve been so busy charting the farce that is Deflate-gate – a narrative that keeps on giving – that I forgot all about Rafa’s and Feddy’s balls, or lack thereof, at the Australian Open. They’re both out, with Rafa falling most recently in the quarterfinals to Tomas Berdych in straight sets.

Is it all over for Fedal? Possibly but Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer singly will go on, injuries notwithstanding.

Meanwhile, it was Media Day, which brings out the loonies during Super Bowl Week. (Think sporting event plus Mardi Gras/Halloween/Comic Con.) The arrogance just dripped as Bill Belicheck refused to answer any more questions about squishy balls, and Seattle Seahawks’ running back Marshawn Lynch, who refuses to talk with the press, simply repeated, “I’m here so I won’t get fined.”

One person who’s been happy to talk is New England Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft, who’s demanding an apology from the NFL if its investigation finds the Pats had nothing to do with the 11 deflated balls they played with in the first half of their victory over the Indianapolis Colts in the A.F.C. Championship game. This as the investigation zeroes in on a “person of interest,” a Pats’ locker room attendant who was alone with the balls in a locked room for 90 seconds after they were certified by officials. (Maybe he just wanted a quiet moment with them.) ...

Tom moves on as NFL zeroes in on Deflate-gate ‘person of interest’

January 27, 2015

OK, the locker room attendant did it.

Maybe.

The NFL investigation into Deflate-gate has zeroed in on a New England Patriots’ scapegoat, er, attendant as a “strong person of interest.” So when “SNL” lampooned the incident, bringing on Pats’ “assistant equipment co-manager” Dougie Spoons (Bobby Moynihan) as the brains behind the whole operation, well, the show was not far off. (Best line: “This man (Brady) is a saint. He has won three Super Bowls, six if you count the losses.”)

Meanwhile, “the saint” has said his feelings were hurt by the insinuation that he deflated his own balls. But he’s moved on.

Oh, Tommy, if only we could.

The once and future king

January 26, 2015

The Greeks – who find themselves once again, or still, in economic straits – were scheduled to go to the polls Sunday, Jan. 25. So should it surprise you that Prime Minister Antonis Samaras, who is fighting for his political life, has been busy invoking the name of his country’s hero, Alexander the Great?

Samaras is among those stirred by the excavation in Amphipolis in the region of Macedonia. The site contains the remains of a woman, two men, an infant and someone who was cremated. While they were no doubt figures of importance, they may not be Olympias, mother of Alexander, and various relatives, and the site is certainly not the tomb of Alexander, who may be buried under a mosque in Egypt.

But the presumed lack of a direct connection to Alexander has not stopped Samaras from evoking the memory of a man who set out from Macedonia at age 20 and conquered the known world. Everyone loves a winner. ...

Belichick for the defense

January 26, 2015

Boy, you gotta hand it to Bill Belichick. Operating under an assumption that guides many coaches – that the best defense is a good offense – the Terse One held an impromptu news conference to reveal that the New England Patriots had conducted their own investigation into Deflate-gate, no doubt in an attempt to seize control of the narrative.

And guess what? The Pats have found that when you leave footballs on the field in cold, wet weather, yep, they deflate.

There you have it – an act of God, who has yet to hold his press conference or inform us of the results of his own investigation.

Good attempt to cut us off at the pass, Bill. But no first down.

If atmospheric conditions during the A.F.C. Championship game were the cause, then why didn’t the Colts’ balls deflate as well?

Belichick opined that he is no scientist or expert on footballs. But, he added, "at no time was there any intent whatsoever to try to compromise the integrity of the game.”

OK, let’s pause for a pet peeve – the misuse of the word “integrity.” ...

You gotta have balls to play in the NFL

January 24, 2015

Goodness, we’ve certainly learned a lot about balls these past few days.

We’ve learned that there are squishy balls and hard balls. We’ve learned that there are balls that are mysteriously underinflated and balls that are purposely overinflated in an attempt to sneak one by the refs.

We’ve learned who has possession of the balls. But what we haven’t learned is who might’ve touched the balls while those who have them weren’t looking.

Whoever it was, it wasn’t Bill Belly-check and Tommy Brady. We know it wasn’t them, because they told us so in a press conference that needn’t wait for a “SNL” parody. It was a “Saturday Night Live” skit unto itself, right down to the bad hairstyles (Belly-check) and even more egregious hats (Tommy).

In a world in which the NFL has been in deep denial of its three Ds – dementia, domestic violence and drugs – the continuing saga of the deflated balls that the New England Patriots used in its winning A.F.C. Championship game against the Indianapolis Colts seems a thin story line. Except for the fact that the story line keeps circling back to its deniers, suggests Tim Hasselbeck, a former NFL quarterback who was a Patriots’ ball boy during high school:

“The balls were evaluated at halftime and the only reason you do that is there is some concern,” Hasselbeck told The Times. “If the balls were O.K. before the game but not by halftime, and it was only New England’s balls that were suspect, then obviously something happened to the balls between the initial inspection and the second half….

Was Eugenie Bouchard’s twirl sexist?

January 23, 2015

They got their knickers twisted Down Under after courtside reporter Ian Cohen asked fetching Canadian tennis player to do a little twirl, showing off her pink and yellow dress following her second-round win at the Australian Open.

Was it sexist? Sure. Was it ageist when she called him “an old guy”? Probably.

We see people in shorthand. She’s pretty, and that will always be part of her play.

But many fans enjoy it, too, when Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal and Andy Murray change their shirts, or Grigor Dimitrov does a faux striptease. Tennis players are sexy people, male and female.

I have no objection to the enjoyment of female sexuality as long as we can enjoy male sexuality as well. The problem is our society tends to be a bunch of Ian Cohens, asking pretty girls to twirl. (To be fair, courtside reporters often ask Nole to dance...

A season in hell for the NFL

January 23, 2015

A year that began badly is ending badly for the NFL. It’s a cliché to say that there are no winners here, but there are no winners here, just liars, cheaters, abusers and deniers.

It’s fitting that the Baltimore Ravens should be the ones to tip off the Indianapolis Colts to the New England Patriots’ use of deflated footballs, which makes it easier for the quarterback to grip the ball and the receivers to catch it. The Ravens, after all, are the people who gave us two troubled Rays – Lewis, who pled guilty to obstruction of justice in the fatal stabbing of two men; and Rice, who coldcocked his fiancée in an Atlantic City elevator, setting the year of crisis in motion. (The Ravens also win the award for tweet of the year when they had Mrs. Rice say she was very sorry for her part in being coldcocked by her husband.)

Bitter losers and no lovers of the Patriots, the Ravens seemed only too happy to pass along knowledge of the Pats’ cheating ways to the Colts. But the Ravens aren’t to blame here anymore than the Adderall-using Seattle Seahawks are or Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is. Rodgers, to borrow from his State Farm Discount Double Check commercials, likes to pump (clap) footballs up. Which begs the question: Was someone on the Pats trying to achieve yogic balance by deflating theirs?

Several wrongs cannot make a right. The only questions that really matter in this Nixonian narrative is, What did the Patriots know, and when did they know it? ...